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The Arc of LoveHow Our Romantic Lives Change over Time$
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Aaron Ben-Ze'ev

Print publication date: 2019

Print ISBN-13: 9780226633909

Published to Chicago Scholarship Online: January 2020

DOI: 10.7208/chicago/9780226634067.001.0001

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A Balanced Diet Is the New Romantic Feast

A Balanced Diet Is the New Romantic Feast

Chapter:
(p.220) 13 A Balanced Diet Is the New Romantic Feast
Source:
The Arc of Love
Author(s):

Aaron Ben-Ze'ev

Publisher:
University of Chicago Press
DOI:10.7208/chicago/9780226634067.003.0014

This book has shown many phenomena whose coexistence in romantic relationships seems paradoxical: mild and wild intensity, sensitivity and indifference, distance and closeness, calmness and excitement, nurturing and preventing, as well as flexibility and stability. These apparent paradoxes stem from our desire to draw one comprehensive, consistent, intellectual picture for all people, all of the time. However, the dynamism and partiality of the emotional and romantic realms mean that emotional and romantic experiences can be radically mixed. Intense love expresses the excitement that we find at the very beginning, but it is time that ultimately allows for the blossoming of profound love. Unlike the notion of romantic fusion, healthy relationships leave lots of room for personal space and growth, but it is important to find a partner who supports your personal fulfillment. The “ideal” romantic relationship is one that helps both partners flourish. If there were any recipe at all, it would start with an optimal balance. Today’s romantic reality combines great diversity and restricted flexibility. While we cannot romantically indulge in everything we want and still stay healthy, we also do not need to go on a hunger strike. Adopting a moderate and balanced diet never killed anyone.

Keywords:   calmness, balance, closeness, distance, diversity, flexibility, indifference, moderation, sensitivity, stability

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