Jump to ContentJump to Main Navigation
The Arc of LoveHow Our Romantic Lives Change over Time$
Users without a subscription are not able to see the full content.

Aaron Ben-Ze'ev

Print publication date: 2019

Print ISBN-13: 9780226633909

Published to Chicago Scholarship Online: January 2020

DOI: 10.7208/chicago/9780226634067.001.0001

Show Summary Details
Page of

PRINTED FROM CHICAGO SCHOLARSHIP ONLINE (www.chicago.universitypressscholarship.com). (c) Copyright University of Chicago Press, 2020. All Rights Reserved. An individual user may print out a PDF of a single chapter of a monograph in CHSO for personal use.date: 25 October 2020

Romantic Compromises

Romantic Compromises

Chapter:
(p.108) 7 Romantic Compromises
Source:
The Arc of Love
Author(s):

Aaron Ben-Ze'ev

Publisher:
University of Chicago Press
DOI:10.7208/chicago/9780226634067.003.0008

Romantic compromises are sometimes viewed as a pitfall of the romantic experience—distracting us from what should be an all-inclusive love that only gives and never takes. However, romantic compromises that involve giving up a romantic value for a deeper nonromantic aspect of life are often good for love as well. Good compromises are intrinsically valuable: they set the mind at rest by solving most of the pressing problems that are disturbing the relationship, and they leave room for striving. A romantic sacrifice involves giving up time spent doing something you value personally, like work or a hobby, to make room for activities that deepen the romantic connection. In the case of profound love, these sacrifices are often made willingly and happily, as they benefit both partners and the relationship. Once we embrace the seemingly unfavorable circumstances of a relationship and show a willingness to devote ourselves to an imperfect but good-enough partner, then love can flourish. Profundity requires partners who are committed to each other and who, instead of constantly comparing their partner to past and potential lovers, try to be present for one another.

Keywords:   alternative, comparison, compromise, good-enough, imperfection, profundity, sacrifice

Chicago Scholarship Online requires a subscription or purchase to access the full text of books within the service. Public users can however freely search the site and view the abstracts and keywords for each book and chapter.

Please, subscribe or login to access full text content.

If you think you should have access to this title, please contact your librarian.

To troubleshoot, please check our FAQs, and if you can't find the answer there, please contact us.